From Tossing to Dreaming: My Comeback from Chronic Sleep Deprivation

Part 1: The Journey So Far

My Love/Hate Relationship With Sleep

I used to hate sleeping. Not that I hated the feeling of sleeping - I loved it, and I loved naps. I love the feeling of a deep sleep, of waking up well rested. The indulgent feeling of laziness coming from a 3-hour afternoon nap on the weekends (or even better, on a weekday when I am on leave or on holiday) is unbeatable. 

But no, I hated sleeping because I felt there were better things to do with my time. When my close university friend used to say “sleep is for the beautiful”, I’d reply with “I can sleep when I’m dead.”

And this continued through the first 10 years of my work life. Of course, the job requirements demanded it, but I not so secretly enjoyed such a work hard play hard lifestyle that left very little time for restorative sleep.

Things started changing in my early 30s - upon landing a big consulting project, I decided to kick off the first work day with an all nighter til 5am - and was duly rewarded with 2 days of flu. I started realising that to function normally, I needed to pay closer attention to my sleep.

Problems With Sleep

I don’t fall asleep easily. And that was the big issue, exacerbated by various other factors.

Firstly, I enjoy the late nights - chatting with friends, binge watching Netflix - whatever it might be, living life to the fullest involved making the most of my time - the time awake and the time catered for sleep.

However, I also enjoy the early mornings. I’d try to wake up early, have an early breakfast, and be at work early. I appreciate being out of the house before sunrise, and being able to work a good 2 hours before people start work. These are my most productive hours, and it also provides a calm and stillness working in the morning without distractions.

And, to assist me in this, burning the candle on both ends is my favourite drink - coffee! I love the caffeine buzz, but more importantly, I love the taste of coffee. I used to drink a lot of coffee.

With the love of life and coffee, it wasn’t easy to fall asleep each night, and with coffee to aid me the next morning, the cycle repeated itself.

After a while, I started feeling tired almost every day, and I felt that this was unsustainable. I wanted to get better sleep. What started as a series of individual decisions added up to what I consider my “system” now. Some of the individual steps mattered more than others, but in combination, they all contribute and matter to my (vastly) improved sleep health.

Benefitting from Exercise

The first thing I did was to increase the frequency and intensity of my exercise. I used a combination of long hikes and HIIT classes, but eventually moved more to HIIT and strength classes as those were more efficient and allowed me to fit them into a regular schedule.

Exercise helped me fall asleep faster and get into deeper sleep, among the many other physical and emotional benefits. However, the impact was limited until I took the second step.

Getting Rid of Caffeine

One Saturday morning, I made a decision not to have a coffee with my post-workout breakfast as I felt quite tired from the week and wanted to take a nap that afternoon. Subsequently, I made that same decision the next day, and the following day, which was Monday - a workday.

Starting with those 3 days, I eliminated caffeine almost completely. I did take coffee really rarely, but these days I drink decaf, and I also bring decaf granules with me when I travel.

Removing caffeine really changed my life. The effects of exercise were countered by caffeine (I used to drink a lot), but without caffeine, I started tiring earlier and having really deep sleep.

Or so I thought…

CPAP Machine

There have been frequent and infrequent complaints/comments about my snoring throughout the years. I was tested once for obstructive sleep apnea with a negative result. But with the complaints continuing, I decided to get tested again 6 years later.

And yes, this time around, it was recorded that I stopped breathing numerous times each hour, with long periods where I wasn’t breathing.

So I got a CPAP machine, and now I am really sleeping deeply (whereas previously I would be snoring and gasping for air) with all the exercise. I bring this everywhere with me now, and I can’t even take a nap without the CPAP machine.

Weighted Blanket

With those major items out of the way, I was able to then enjoy the sensation of the weighted blanket I was using all those years! It provides this very even pressure across all parts of my body, helping each part relax. This felt especially relaxing for me across my arms and legs.

For me, the weighted blanket is a true sleep essential. It makes me feel very comfortable, and I fall asleep much faster. I do feel like something is missing every time I travel and do not have it. It’s a bit too heavy to be carrying around the world, so I have not figured out a solution for this.

Following My Circadian Rhythm

With all of these changes, with a new appreciation for the benefits and positive feelings that come from good sleep, and with a better physical condition and lifestyle, it was only natural that I engineered my days with a system that maximised all these factors.

I choose to sleep early and wake up early, and to have exercise as the first thing I do every morning before I go to work. This forms a virtuous cycle where early exercise helps me fall asleep earlier, falling asleep earlier lets me wake up earlier, and waking up earlier gives me a better foundation to exercise earlier.

Metrics, Metrics, Metrics

Lately, I purchased a smart watch and started observing various measurements - heart rate / resting heart rate, sleep score, calories burned, and I also started recording my exercise and runs.

My sleep score isn’t that good - some nights, it records that I am awake for periods, and I don’t get enough REM. I’m going to try and work on this by making minor adjustments to my sleep and sleep prep and see what happens.

Where to from Here?

I want to try getting even better sleep!

A few things I want to work on include (i) trying to get all of my exercise done in the mornings, or by the early afternoons (on weekends), (ii) trying not to go out too many nights during the week (keep it down to 1-2 times as it affects my ability to sleep early), and (iii) trying to figure out why I am not getting enough deep sleep REM.

I’ll dive into each of the above areas next as part of this series, and will also include any interesting or confounding themes to do with sleep. Stay tuned!

Author Bio

Dan is the co-founder of Weavve Home, a Singapore-based bedding brand, weaving up better sleep for everyone—one comfy bedding item at a time. Whilst he’s not busy fussing over the next colour to launch or being forced to appear in the next social media post, you’ll find him lifting weights, chasing down great food, or experimenting with new ways to improve his own rest. Lately, he's been geeking out over all things sleep—bedtime routines to sleep aids—and sharing the wins, fails, and everything in between.